Most guidebooks helpfully classify types of accommodation into three categories: top-end, mid-range, and budget. This is most certainly an oversimplification: it fails to take into consideration that the budget category alone is home to a universe of different types of abode, ranging from the flea-ridden pit of hell, to the bog of eternal stench.

After eleven months of sleeping, almost exclusively, in some of the cheapest digs in Asia, I have begun to consider myself a somewhat of an expert in the subject, and yet I still come across hostels that have the capacity to surprise me.

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Chang’s more sophisticated and sexy cousin, Singha is a step up in the Thai drinks market. It has 6% alcohol, making it one of the stronger lagers in the region, and has a price tag to match coming in at between 80-100 Bhat for 660ml (or ?1.60 – ?2, or $2 – $3).

Despite the relative booziness and the price, Singha did not rock our worlds. It is a run of the mill, albeit very refreshing, lager. You can try this one at home from any leading super market, but there’s not much point.

5/10

The beer brewed by Satan himself: Chang is made from a mix of malt, hops and pure evil. The ‘Chang-over’ is legendary in the SE Asia backpacker community, and something I don’t recommend trying. Our particular ‘Chang-over’ left us incapacitated for over 24 hours in the stifling heat of Bangkok – an experience I am keen to never, ever repeat.

Your first Chang goes down as easy as a St Trinnian, but by beer number two you can begin to taste the chemicals. By beer four your head probably hurts and the inside of your mouth tastes like the inside of a plastics factory.

The 5% alcohol content is appreciated, but the price range of between 50 and 70 Baht for a 660ml bottle is certainly not the cheapest we’ve had (that is 1 – 1.40 GBP, or $1.50- $2).

2/10

At very long last, I have endured the painful Internet speeds in Laos and uploaded some more photos, completing the photographic chronicles of our time in Thailand. Check out the results on our Gallery page.

More photos coming soon…

After an unfortunate encounter with a bad pork dumpling, Charlotte and I were confined to Chat Guest House in Chiang Rai for three days. Originally we planned to get one of the cheap rooms with a shared bathroom (B 180) but we soon decided to upgrade to a private hot water bathroom was in order. It turned out to be a very good decision, not only for convenience but also because the room was much nicer and it came with cable TV – a steal at B 250.

The attached restaurant serves good, reasonably priced food and the staff are friendly. The only downside is that the guest house is a little bit out-of-the-way in the north-west corner of town (although the town is pretty small so it’s not a big deal). 7/10

Now that I have settled into life in Laos for the next three months (more about that later), I thought I would give you a brief overview of our time in Thailand.

Originally we had planned to stay for three months, but for some reason, Thailand did not float our collective boat.

In fairness to Thailand, much of this was down to bad luck. We were besieged with a series of unfortunate events from the moment we set foot in the country.

The first was our own fault: over indulging in Bangkok.

If you have ever been to Bangkok you will know two things:
1. It is very easy to over indulge.
2. It is the WORST place to have a hangover.

And this was not an ordinary hangover. It was a two day, vomit your guts out, marathon of a hangover. And in a city that feels like a sauna *all* the time, and that is home to a variety of unusual and unpleasant smells, this was not a good thing.

After recovering, and being able to move without puking, we boarded a train to Ayutthaya. We have already told you about the horror that was Mint Guesthouse (trying to pick the fleas off my bed before I go to sleep is not my idea of comfort), but most upsetting was getting mugged.

Well, maybe mugged is an overstatement. We were happily riding our push bikes around the ancient city, enjoying the beautiful temples, when some b*stard on a motor bike sped past Scott and lifted his backpack as he went.

The good news is that all the thief got of any worth was a half used can of mossie repellant! Ha!

So we headed north again, this time to Chaing Mai. Which was OK, except I lost my mobile phone in the jungle. Why I even took it to the jungle is anyone’s guess. I think the answer is stupidity.

And the bad luck continued, in an even more unpleasant way, as we journeyed to Chiang Rai. In theory I know not to eat pork bought at a bus station in Thailand. In practice, I was really hungry.

The result? The details are too disgusting to divulge, but needless to say, I became *very* good friends with the bathroom for two days. It took almost a week before I could eat a full solid meal.

That was the straw that broke the camels back. After just two weeks we gave up. Thailand, it would seem, was not our friend.

Escaping Bangkok’s oppressive heat and seedy underbelly to see the ‘other’ Thailand

Waking up to the sound of cockerels crowing, the sun slowly sauntering over the mountains, spreading a warm morning glow over the lush forest, I take a deep breath of fresh, unpolluted air and stretch my aching limbs. I take a moment to absorb my surroundings: the bamboo roll mat and mosquito net I call my ‘bed’; the thatched roof wooden hut, built upon stilts, that I have slept in; the various sounds of the jungle and the sight of an elderly tribeswoman cooking the first meal of the day.

I am amazed that I am only a few hours north of Bangkok, and yet in an entirely different world.

The Hill tribes of Chiang Mai
After a hectic week travelling in Bangkok, and over indulging heartily in the local food and (most pertinently) drink, a change of scene and pace was in order.

Chiang Mai has long been on the backpacker trail, and, as such, offers a huge variety of activities for very reasonable prices. We had a few days to spare and decided that trekking in the nearby mountains would be the perfect excursion. However, we learnt a valuable lesson (we seem to be learning a lot of those lately!), that when you look for the cheapest option in town, you usually get what you pay for.

We signed up for a three day trek, which included a visit to the infamous tribe of ‘Long Neck Women’, two nights sleeping in the jungle, bamboo rafting, elephant riding and white water rafting.

The hills are alive
There are at least 10 distinct hill tribe groups that live in the mountains of Thailand’s Northern Provinces – each with their own unique culture and traditions. Visiting a tribe is an incredible opportunity to witness a way of life that (until quite recently) has been relatively untouched by modernity. Of course, there has been a lot of change, and (despite what tour operators will tell you), much of their way of life is dying out, and is only being kept alive by tourism.

This fact makes visiting the Long Neck women particularly morally ambivalent. It was with a mix of fascination and repulsion that I found myself staring into these women’s lives and homes. Revulsion at what seems to be a barbaric, and inherently masogynistic practice, but mostly revulsion at myself and my own insatiable curiousity. It is sheer voyeurism that bought me there, and the village is, in essence, a human zoo. The very fact that I am there helps to preserve/ perpetuate a tradition that, to my western eyes, enslaves women: it reduces them to objects of beauty, physically incapable of working on anything other than simple handicrafts, their worth being derived from the tourist dollars they draw in.

Of course, nothing is ever as black and white as that. The Long Neck women represent the most extreme example of ‘voyeur tourism’ and it is easy to see faults. But many tribespeople see tourism as an opportunity to keep alive traditions and rituals that would otherwise be lost. They have made a choice to continue these practices, not because they are forced to (although, undoubtedly some people are), but because they want to. Long Neck tribes included.

Back to the fun stuff
I am not sure I am ethically sophisticated enough to make any moral judgement, so less preaching and more fun stuff!

The trip itself contained a lot of fun elements. The problem was that they were poorly spaced out.

We had signed up for three days, and found ourselves in a tour with people on the two day excursion. What we discovered is that our itinaries were identical, except that they crammed everything into a shorter space. What this meant was that we spent a lot of time waiting around.

That said, when we were doing stuff, it was great. Elephant riding was bumpy fun; white water rafting was exciting without being dangerous (although it might have benefitted from a little more danger if you ask me); and swimming in a beautiful waterfall, in the middle of a thunderstorm, was magical.

All in all, a good and thought provoking trip. If I had my time again I would shop around more, and make sure there was more actual trekking and less sitting about and waiting – and I might make some enquiries about the conditions that the elephants are kept in.

Yet again, we were searching for another guest house when we stumbled across My House 1 and were too tired and grumpy to go on. Charlotte wasn’t completely happy with our room – she thought it too dark and dingy – but I thought it was quite charming; the  building was of the old teak variety and our room was floor to ceiling teak panels with a nice double bed, mosquito net and wall-mounted fan. The shared bathroom wasn’t the best, but came with an electric shower. What really sealed the deal for me was the price: 150 baht per night. This included a hefty 100B discount, presumably because we were in the low season, but meant that My House was one of the cheapest places we’ve stayed so far.

The location is good, situated on a quiet alley within the old-city boundary and around plenty of good restaurants. The lady that runs the place is friendly without being pushy when it comes to tours (we’ve heard some other guest house owners can be quite aggressive regarding tours). There seemed to be a ridiculous number of mosquitoes in the bathroom and hallway. I’m not sure if that is normal in Chiang Mai or not, but was really annoying either way.

I’d say it is better than average, but Charlotte still thinks it was too dark and had no atmosphere (and I can’t disagree). If price is important and you get a good discount like us, go for it. If not, there are so many nice looking places nearby that might be a better deal. 6/10

Travelling around Northern Thailand’s ancient ruins for some truly spectacular sights

Thailand is a country bursting at the seams with incredible sights; from idyllic islands to lush rainforests; modern skyscrapers to floating markets; but for me, the most impressive sights were the startling array of elegant, intricate, and at times simply gaudy, temples that are littered throughout the North of the country.

We started our two week whistle stop tour of Thailand in Bangkok. Home to the red light district, ladyboys, and the infamous Little Khao San Road, but also home to more Wats than you can shake a stick at.

We started with the biggest: The Grand Palace and Wat Phra Keo, home to the Emerald Buddha.

Built in 1782, the architecture is undeniably impressive: dazzling gold leaf, coloured glass and mirrors shimmer opulently in the sun. The attention to detail is phenomenal, with intricate carvings, murals and sculptures of other worldly creatures and deities, and the effect is quite overwhelming.

Alongside the palace itself is Thailand’s most holy site, Wat Phra Keo. Inside is the Emerald Buddha (not actually made of emerald, but of Jade), stolen from Laos. After seeing a multitude of enormous golden Buddhas, The Emerald Buddha is shockingly small, due to the fact that it was carved from a single block of jade. Yet its diminutive size does not detract from its importance, and the temple housing it is suitably elaborate.

Our Wat spotting did not stop there, and in between some fairly heavy drinking sessions (note to self, never drink with soldiers. Especially not when the drink of choice is a bucket – yes BUCKET – of rum) we managed to see Wat Arun, the giant reclining Buddha, and numerous other gold clad religious sites.
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Yet, for all the obvious beauty of Bangkok's temples, the excesses can be a little OTT for my tastes. It reminded me a little of Las Vegas, or at least, if Vegas were to build a Buddhist themed casino, the Grand Palace is exactly what it would look like.

In search of authenticity
For an entirely different atmosphere, and a slightly cooler climate, we boarded a train north, to visit two of Thailand’s ancient capitals: Ayutthaya and Sukhothai.

The temples in both towns are much older and in varying states of disrepair. Some have been lovingly restored, others have been left to crumble, with eerie solitary Buddha figures rising disconcertingly out of the rubble, or peering out at you through the roots of massive trees.

Ayutthaya was our first stop, and an eventful one at that. We had the misfortune to stay in the terrible Mint Guesthouse, where we were fleeced by the card shark owner, and eaten alive by the bugs that inhabited our beds. Worse still, we had our bag stolen by a motorcycle riding thief.

Yet despite these mishaps and misfortunes, we had a good time, and the temples went some way to making up for it.

Yet more impressive, and an entirely more enjoyable stay, was Sukhothai. We managed to find ourselves in the most wonderful guesthouse, with air conditioning and hot showers, with a (former) ladyboy host.

The historic park, is located a short bus ride out of town, and is a splendid day trip. There are several stunning wats, and some huge Buddha statues, with just enough rubble to give the site an Indiana Jones feel. Cycling round the park is an extremely enjoyable way to spend a day, and I would recommend it to anyone.

Surreal Sights
It wasn’t just the temples that stood out as interesting sights – we were somewhat bemused by the monks. Of course, monks are by no means an unusual sight in Thailand, and can often be seen in their bright orange robes wandering around temples and markets, and very often on the bus. Rather it was the juxtaposition of ancient and and modern that amused us, particularly when we saw monks touring the Grand Palace and taking photos with their mobile phones; monks withdrawing cash from the ATM and a pair of motorcycle-riding monks!

Here’s the offer we received on arrival at Sukhothai bus station from a strange man in a pink polo shirt: 

A double room with a shared hot water shower. AND air-conditioning. AND free transport to and from the station. AND free bicycle rental. AND free lifts to the bus stop to the old town. AND free internet. All for a ’special price’ of B250.

Too good to be true? We thought so, and we normally ignore touts at transport hubs, but for some reason we decided to give this one a chance and were not disappointed: Sila turned out to be by far the best place we’ve stayed so far. 

Sila is set in a beautiful ‘resort’ with three wooden bungalows on stilts and a main building containing the restaurant and private rooms and is located about 1 km north of the centre of town (the free bikes and lifts to the bus stop cut the 15 minute walk to town down to a few minutes). Our room was large, spotless and in excellent condition. The shared bathrooms likewise, with two bathrooms between three rooms and another downstairs in the restaurant area for good measure.  The restaurant was cheap and food was good, and was also a great place to chat with the friendly staff or other customers. Just in case we weren’t already convinced that this place was heavenly, we were showered with free fruit whenever we sat in the restaurant.

Sila honestly couldn’t be any better; if you don’t stay here, you’re missing out. 10/10